Saying goodbye forever is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do.
Really we said, “See you soon”, but it was still the long goodbye. I’m grateful I had the opportunity to say goodbye in person. I didn’t think I would get the chance. The hugs, the love, the laughter, the memories, the moments, the tears were all needed and welcomed.
They don’t tell you that the mourning process starts long before the person is actually gone. For me it started 7 months ago. Knowing that I will never hear her call me “her Anne” or “Anne girl” again. I will never again hear all of her funny statements that are just so “her”. I will never get another hug from her. I will never be able to hug her. No more quiet, deep moments of conversation and wisdom imparted. No more laughter. Late night movie binges. No more of anything.
These 2 days that I spent with her I will treasure forever. Those last few moments of laughter. Those lazy nights chatting on the bed. Those hugs. The stories. All of it. I will hold her in my heart forever.
Sad doesn’t even come close to describing the emotions that I am feeling. I have cried my heart out and still the tears come. Maybe I should invest in Kleenex at this point.
This woman touched my heart and my life when she blew in on a breeze in my late 20’s. She knew how to hold my heart carefully. She knew how to laugh. She knew how to love. She challenged and encouraged me to be the best version of myself.
She believed in me when no one else did. She loved me unconditionally. She let me be exactly who I am, no judgement, only love.
She is the best example of a spirit being having a human experience. She isn’t perfect, but she is love. Jeannie is vibrant. She is a bright light in a dark room. Quick to laugh and quicker with a funny quip or joke. She was the Princess and the rest of us girls were Princesses in Training.
She talked to the critters. She rescued kittens. The world was her oyster and she played well!
Jeannie fell in love with my Uncle John when she was six years old. To hear her tell their love story is fascinating; full of love and laughter. They both took different journeys in their lives, but 15 years ago found their way back to each other. Jeannie loves Johnny and Johnny loves Jeannie. Eternally.
I only hope that I can be as much of a beacon of love to others in my life as she has been to me. I promise to honor her legacy of love. To BE love.
My dear sweet Aunt Jeannie. I will miss you. I will miss every moment that we could have had. You may be leaving this earth, but you will be with me always. I love you.
I will always care you in my heart Jean Marie. I know you’ll be flying with the Angels.
See you soon….. Your Anne with an E.