I Disappeared

I Disappeared 2019-03-02T05:04:43+00:00

Project Description

I disappeared. I dropped off the face of the earth. I moved. I even changed my phone number. I stopped posting on social media. Then I got a J.O.B. I lost friends. I made people mad. I disconnected from the things that didn’t serve me. I dove into my new community. I chose me. I operated very intentionally. And I learned SO much!

The last 9 months I have been birthing something within my business and my soul that I desperately wanted. 

In May of 2018, I was working through the Desire Map by Danielle LaPorte. If you know anything about me then you know that I am constantly studying and learning. As a friend recently stated, “I am a student of life”. I represent that statement to the fullest.

But, back to the Desire Map. The truth is, I had put off completing the workbook for more than 3 months and when I had to return the book to the library I FINALLY completed the workbook. FINALLY. A day later and 60+ pages of journaling…and it felt amazing. I fully decided to relocate to Grants Pass, a small town in Southern Oregon. I also decided that I wanted to contribute and give back to a local community and I wanted to build my business locally.

That night as I was laying in bed I had a nudge. Call it intuition, inner voice, the spirit, etc. The nudge told me to hop online and check out the Chamber of Commerce pages for Medford and Grants Pass. The thing about this nudge is that at the time I never got online on the weekend or late at night.

So, I hopped on and checked out both the Chamber pages. I wasn’t sure what I was looking for, but when I landed on the Grants Pass I found it. It was a part time position that hit all my points in my Desire Map journaling. I wasn’t looking for a job at the time, but this one fit my desires perfectly and allowed me to continue running my business. After going through the interview process, I got the job. It was great.

The job ended up moving from a part time position to a full time position extremely quickly. There were weeks that I found myself work 50+ hours a week and working my business. I poured myself into this job. I was working with high school students as the Program Manager. It was an incredible experience that I will never forget.

That job opened doors in the community for me that I am so grateful for. Opportunities, friendships, conversations, laughs, collaborations and so much more. It’s seemingly endless at the moment.

But with all of that, during the last 9 months of getting the new job, relocating, settling into my new community I also closed some doors. I put things on pause. I walked away from things that were consuming my time and energy. I also found opportunities to do differently.

It’s interesting though….go back to the top of this article and read the first paragraph again. The choices that I made affected or impacted other people. Regardless of my intentions, people felt abandoned, ignored, hurt, etc. That’s going to happen. I’m not here to apologize for making choices that were best for me. We each have to own our choices, actions and reactions.

I don’t regret the path I chose. That’s the key. I chose the path. I chose how I was going to show up; where I was going to show up. I did it for me. I chose me.

I challenge you to choose you. Do what is best for you. Do not make a choice for your life based on the reactions of other people. DO YOU. Take care of you. CHOOSE YOU.

So, here I am. Open, ready, excited to take on the next leg of this glorious journey called life. I am in my last 30 days with the job and I am excited to create new beginnings with people in my community. I’m excited to touch more lives with my talents and gifts. I’m excited to make a greater impact. I’m fully putting my soul back into my passion: events. Creating experiences that change lives, that leave a mark, that leave a legacy.

Leaving the most positive mark on this earth and the souls of those around me is my desire. How can I serve? How can I create? How can I show up? How can I give?

My soul is here to be of service.

And….

I’m scared shitless because a girl still needs to eat. Ha! There’s the reality of it all, right? Surrender and trust. Operate in faith, not fear. Keeping my mind right is key. The doubts, the fears, the questions….they all pop up on the regular. But I know that I know that I know in the deepest part of my soul that what I am doing and who I am BEing is perfectly in alignment. I believe in myself more now than I ever have before.

How can I serve? Where can I serve? Who can I serve?

Believing that all I need I already have.

Namaste.

 

Image by evalo550 on Pixabay